Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. It was very difficult for me to admit my struggle but your responses and words have been a great encouragement to me. I am going, no matter how difficult it will be, but I truly feel God telling me that it will be okay and won't be as bad as I think it will be.

I wish I could say all the fear and anxiousness is gone, but unfortunately it is still there. I am trying to focus on the bigger picture. Yes, in 10 days I have to board a plane that I have no desire to board. I have to spend at least 24 hours traveling to Ethiopia - there is no way around that.

But it makes me cry to look beyond that and see that in 13 days we will have Malachi in our arms and he will be an orphan no more! From that day on, he will be with his family - where he belongs! This child, OUR SON, that we have dreamed about and cried many tears over the agony of the wait - we have waited and prayed for over 2 years for a child and in 13 days our dream will be fulfilled - it doesn't get any better then that!!!

Following God's will is hardly ever easy. It always seems like there is a difficult step of faith to take before you get to the reward God has for you. Nothing worth having is ever easy. This entire journey has been so soooo hard and this final step is going to be difficult, but so soooo worth it! In comparison to labor - that airplane trip is going to be a 24 hour hard labor for me, but when it is done and over - I get the most beautiful gift and I can't wait.

God has not promised me that the trip will be easy. He has reassured me that I will make it and it won't be as bad as my imagination can make it (gotta love the imagination!) but I know He will be with me and Malachi is SO worth it! He has helped me to look beyond the airplane trip and see my son. I have enjoyed all the Gotcha Day videos while we have waited and tried to imagine how that moment will feel and we are somehow just 13 days away from our very own Gotcha Day with our son!

Malachi,

You are worth it! If I try to imagine everything you have been through in the past 3 months of your life, my fear and pain doesn't even compare. We are coming so soon - 13 more days before you are with your forever family! One final transition sweet boy and you will be home forever! We love you so much and cannot wait to get you home!!!