We have been home with our precious "Baby Dash" since August 2010! Now, we are embarking on a new and very different journey as we pursue the domestic adoption route!

To keep up on the most recent family happenings - check out our family blog - www.thekeyserfamily.blogspot.com!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

breathing

Each passing week as we move closer and closer to the due date I feel like it is harder and harder to breathe.  My nerves increase with every update as I realize more and more that the moment of truth is coming.  I remember this feeling so well from Malachi's adoption.  Your heart is falling in love with a child you've never met, and you're putting yourself out there and filling your hearts with hope that someday this child will be in your arms and get to come home and be a part of your family.  I remember landing at home with Malachi and introducing all of our families to Malachi right there at the airport.  It was a sigh of relief and I felt like after months of waiting, I could finally breathe again!

Things are happening and while I can't go into great detail, it can be a bit nerve wracking to be on this side of things. I am fully aware that it is no picnic on the other side of the adoption triad either and my heart truly feels for the woman in an unbelievably difficult situation right now. On this side though, we get limited updates and limited information. As we've already had one match fall through, it can get scary to put our hearts on the line again.  Days or weeks go by with limited information and cryptic messages that can put me into a full on panic trying to decode. Medical issues are arising and it is hard when I am not there and not getting updates on what is going on. I want our dear birth mother to be okay and I want this sweet little one to stay safe. I just wish some part of adoption was easy and simple and not such a leap of faith.

I always feel this way when God calls me to do something totally out of my comfort zone as he often likes to do.  I have moments of panic thinking there is no way I can do it!  I've put my heart on the line and if this doesn't work out, it's going to hurt.  And even if this does work out, that means someone loses and that somebody is going to be hurt  This is not going to be an easy journey to complete no matter the outcome but I know God will carry us all through this (so thankful our birth mother is also a Christian) and hopefully we will be able to all walk this journey together!  There is no doubt this baby is much loved by all and each step forward we take I am reminded that He is faithful and He will help us walk this road we're about to embark on.   

Friday, July 4, 2014

8 Months

Today marks 8 months in the adoption process!  Anticipation is building more each day and I'm definitely feeling like I'm in the 8th month of this pregnancy!  So ready to meet this sweet little one!

We continued on our average of presenting to 3 cases a month and MATCHED with our 10th presentation a few weeks ago!  Coincidently we matched on our 5th and 10th presentation.  We ended up presenting on 3 boys, 5 girls, and 2 unknown gender cases (one of the unknowns is our match).  Our profile was "active" for right at 2 months for our first match and 3 months for our second match so right at the front of CAC's 3-6 month window for match!

We have been immensely blessed financially and we certainly don't take that lightly moving forward. God moved big with friends and family who gave generously, we got a matching grant, and Peter got a new job that not only has an adoption benefit but also has allowed us to put away a lot more towards adoption fees!  In the end, we have also been blessed because our match came through an adoption attorney which puts the fees on the very low end of the scale!  So including travel and finalization fees, we are very close to being fully funded!

Emotionally we're doing pretty good. We are so excited to meet our baby and start our life as a family of 6!  I can't wait to get some newborn snuggles in!  This has also brought on a lot of difficult emotions as with Malachi's adoption we learned about his loss and his birth mother's loss AFTER the fact.  This time, we're building a relationship with a mother and a baby who we're anticipating that adoption loss happening to.  It is truly an awful feeling and while I will never have an idea of what that truly feels like, I do grieve to an extent.  It's just a crazy emotional rollercoaster right now and I just hope that we will establish a very open adoption because I truly think that will be best for everyone in this case.



Sweet baby,
To say we're thinking of you and excited to meet you is the biggest understatement right now.  I cannot wait to get to hold you and behold your precious little face.  I know you will be beautiful and we can't wait to meet you!  We pray for you often.  You are never far from our thoughts and we're getting the house more and more ready for you to join us.  We anticipate with great joy the phone call that will tell us that you're on the way but stay snug right where you are for a bit longer and keep growing strong!  We will race to get to you just as soon as we can! We love you!

 


Thursday, July 3, 2014

Life in between

Its been 3 weeks since we initially began moving forward with our match.  More and more information trickles in all the time and our anticipation and excitement for this new little life joining our family grows and grows.

Sometimes it is hard to live in the between times, especially as we've gotten new information that suggests this baby might be arrive early.  When I look at my calendar for the next several months it is easy to want to put life on hold.  No, we can't sign Malachi up for another round of swim lessons because the baby might come then. No, I can't buy those tickets because we might not be able to use them. Maybe we shouldn't start anymore yard projects because we might not be able to finish them.

 I had pretty much left our calendar blank, but I've decided enough is enough. I can't predict what the next couple months are going to look like, but we're going to make those plans and live our life in this in between. After all, Grandma can always take Mal to his swim lessons, tickets can be sold, and projects can always be put on pause.

I think "living" while adopting is one of the biggest challenges.  Things can always change at a moments notice and that makes planning difficult.  but you know what, our days as a family of 5 are limited and pretty soon we're going to have a newborn in tow so I want to soak up this summer and the precious moments that still remain for our family of 5 before we're blessed to grow to 6!  So here's to living in the "in between" times! 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Moving Forward

It's crazy how quickly things can change in the adoption process.  I went from constantly checking all the agency websites and my email for available situations to now just waiting. The waiting is so different after match.  Now it is still exciting to keep an eye on my inbox as news continues to trickle in. There are fees to be paid, records to review, questions to ask, documents to send, travel plans to prepare for.  It has certainly been an eventful 2 weeks.

We've been getting almost daily updates on our birth mother and those really help me feel involved in this process. I have so much I want to know as we try to learn more and establish a relationship with our birth mother and yet I know we need to respect the boundaries she puts in place.

It's also hard because my head knows this isn't our baby yet so I want to hold back my heart. But that's also hard to do as this sinks in more and more.  The excitement is really building for both Peter and I and I'm allowing myself to go all in. We already know that things don't always end the way we thought they would.  Nothing is guaranteed. But I also know that God has given us this baby to love at least for awhile.  Maybe we will have a lifetime or maybe it will only last this few weeks. But I have to allow myself to love fully and  put my heart out there. It isn't fair to this baby to do anything less.  

It's an exciting time for us, filled with so many different emotions.  We are so excited and ready!  We're nervous and hopeful. We're truly saddened for the loss that has to occur. It's bitter and sweet all at the same time.  Continued prayers as we navigate these next few weeks and months would be greatly appreciated! 

Friday, June 20, 2014

The Match!

*Please know in our writing this post that we have put a whole lot of thought into what to share and how to do so, keeping the utmost respect and privacy for our birth mother.  We know at this point nothing is for sure and that things can change at a moment, but we also want to share the real and no matter what happens in the coming months, this is part of our journey*



As I mentioned in these last several posts, we're recently had a lot of adoption situations come our way in a short amount of time. I had a feeling that with everything coming our way, that a match had to be around the corner for us!  Last Wednesday on June 11th, I got an email from an attorney we are partnered with about a new opportunity.  We'd been signed on with this attorney for about a month and from our initial phone consultation with them on May 7th we were very excited about working with them. When we initially spoke with them, they informed us that they had numerous families they were working with open to a caucasian infant but none open to an African American infant. They told us that they would definitely be calling us if an AA birth mother were to come in and I think might have even ended this conversation with a "hopefully we will be in touch soon."  What we didn't know in that moment is that they had already been working with our soon to be birth mother!

Even though Peter and I felt very led to this situation, we had already committed to being presented to another situation.  We had full faith that God would lead us to the baby who was meant to be part of our family.  I had some great conversations with the attorney and he was kind enough to even tell us to take last weekend and continue to think about how we wanted to proceed.  We ended up waiting through the weekend to hear on the situation that we had already presented on to find out we were not picked again.  So we were fully able and ready to commit to this one.  

As this week wore on, I was able to have more conversations with this attorney and have asked more questions. It seems like I come up with new questions all the time.  It finally came time for them to share about us with her.  At this point we were fully committed and ready to move forward, but she (as she should) has the ultimate say.  She asked a lot of great questions about us and we finally got word that she wanted to move forward with us too! It was a match! 

So the hustle and bustle has begun!  We want to protect her complete privacy as this is not our baby yet and so we don't feel comfortable sharing anymore details at this time.  We still have a long wait ahead of us and we hope we can start to cultivate a lifelong relationship with her in this time.  Please pray for this woman as she walks this road and for us as  instinct is to guard our hearts but we want to love big in these coming months.  


Friday, June 13, 2014

A Nest By Design!

I wanted to take an opportunity today to share about a current fundraising opportunity we have right now because I am pretty excited about it!

A couple years ago I heard about this new business and I was so excited to order and help this family who was fundraising for their adoption!  I ordered a nest with 3 little eggs in it and it was by far one of my favorite pieces of jewelry!  Another cool thing that A Nest By Design does is they help other families fundraise and I am excited to share that for the month of June we are the featured family. That means if you purchase a necklace this month and designate it for our family while checking out, your necklace will help support our family!  Pretty cool!

There are tons of different options on the website to customize a necklace for your needs.  I also enjoy giving them as gifts!






To purchase a nest for yourself or friends, check out the link at A NEST BY DESIGN


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Seeking Wisdom

The last few days have been pretty heavy in the adoption process.  Maybe it is the fact that 3 of the babies we've applied for are being born this week (1 being our "failed match").  Maybe it is the fact that we've been rejected several times just in the last couple days.  Or maybe something is going on behind the scenes that we can't even see.

This is getting harder than I thought it would be. It's not even really the fact that we're not getting picked. We knew this could take some time as we have 3 children already and sometimes that isn't what birth mom's are looking for.  We're almost at 3 months waiting, and really in the adoption world that isn't very long!  Our Consultant's mentioned that the "average" is 3-6 months so we are just approaching that 3 month range.  We're finally moving up agency lists to a point where we are being asked if we want to be shown more often.  In fact, I would say as of lately we've been getting 1-2 situations a DAY to consider.  And that is where I really feel like we need wisdom. A lot is being thrown at us at and we have to make fast decisions that could forever change our lives.

When we started this process we had a very specific price range we wouldn't go above and a timeline and a risk level we were willing to take. As Peter and I were talking last night, it has become clear that our hearts are changing.  If we hear of a baby who needs a home, we want more and more for our answer to be yes! We got a call earlier this week for a baby boy who was in desperate need of a home.  The fees were well over what we are hoping to spend and with Peter just starting his job, the timing wasn't ideal either but we still said yes.  We figured if God opened the door then He would work out the details and if another family stepped forward than great - at least then we would know he had a home.  And he did find a home and we are grateful for that!  But this is where our hearts have been moved. We want to say yes more and more and if God opens the door we are ready to walk through it.  Not every situation we're seeing can we say yes to and that is never easy for me. But I am excited to see where these new "yes" answers might take us in the coming days and weeks.  We're ready!

More and more I am realizing this is so not about me!  It's not about my timing or my desires. It is about God guiding us and showing us where He wants us. God has sent us on this journey to bring a child who needs a home into our family and so it would be crazy for us to try and force God's will into our tiny box of desires.  He's showing us more and more that maybe He wants us to make a bigger box or maybe even think a little outside the box.  His plan, His timing, His baby!  It's not about me!